Hmm lesson for the week...

Church this week was one of my favorite guest speakers; however, the sermon assignment was to have a difficult conversation and confront sin this week. I am humbled at knowing that there is no sinner greater than myself and I really don't feel like judging anyone because God will do that just fine. So is that wrong?

I screw up all the time, so it seems and after hearing the Beth Moore week 5 of the Patriarch study I feel like my marriage will always be challenging because my heart was not necessarily healthy during our early relationship. But, God does work miracles and I have seen Luke grow into such an awesome leader for our household and him being a man of God is rewarding for not only me and our kids, but him too.

The security of blogging is nice because it means that I am not having heartfelt conversations, but thus technology replaces some of the connections as women, we need. So what is the point in confrontation, or when is it necessary? If you care and love someone and identify that their behaviors or sin is seperating them from the Father they serve. This is really for believers, as Pastor Knight said- you have no sin if you don't have Jesus. How true is that?! Then I thought know sin, know Jesus.

I don't like to point fingers and so generally speaking I will say that we, as a household, are very conservative in our media choices, clothing choices, and strive for a Biblical world view. The world is full of misleading propaganda and the father of lies whispers crap to your ears all the time.
Like bikinis are stylish. No they are not, your belly is hanging out and you disrespect women to flaunt your flesh as though you are a peice of meat and have something to show off. You don't! Cover your body! Cleavage, belly buttons, backs, and shoulders revealed indicate that you want someone to see your body as sexy. I realize that sometimes women are proud of their hard work, six pack, good tan...but in reality we should not boast in anything but God. Who made you and wants you to respect your body and not be on some pedistal for wandering eyes.

Fine, I did wear a bikini in my day, but looking back, oh how I wish that I were raised to be told that that is not how God wants you to use your body and that is worldly. We need not show cleavage to feel good about ourselves, do we ladies? Trust me, I drive around in that ugly 12 passenger and turn heads just fine:)

The truth is that when my girls get older and think they know more than me, I hope that they recognize the demeaning message that a string bikini sends and I hope that they are proud to wear a full speedo suit and know that they are beautiful without Glamour magazine saying only this or that is stylish.

WE ARE STYLISH and WE ARE COOL. WE ARE CONFIDENT IN OUR MINDS, BODY, AND SOUL TRUSTING OUR HEAVENLY FATHER TO FILL OUR HEARTS WITH JOY AND NEED NOT ANY WORLDLY SUBSTITUTE.

another lie? Like Disney is for kids...tchya right, not in this decade folks! Since when do you want your 5 year old all concerned about boyfriends and making out and stuff, have you watched hanna montana lately? Didn't she get knocked up too and will be the next brittney spears in a few years? Seriously, do we want these icons to be our children's idols? Do we want our kids to have this idea that they are going to have satisfaction in a hot boyfriend, a good time, or the latest outfit?

PM: "Do not reduce your life to a nice outfit and a good meal." Okay so last of my conflicts, that we are all too consumed by what is not really going to do anything to serve our boss or fellow humanity. Your checkbook shows your idols, and your kids mirror you. So, I encourage everyone to consider what kind of character we want to instill in our children and what types of values we will raise them with. We have to set the bar high for them to understand that other people are not going to be responsible for our child's success.

God does have a beautiful plan for each of us, even if you have abandoned that thought, he has not abandoned you and is ready for you! Each of us travels this road as has been done before and through Jesus there is light at the end of every tunnel and he shines that light, so don't be afraid to find that peace that cannot be filled in the latest fashion line. So fill it up, let it over flow...so fill it up, let it over flow...so fill it up, let it over flow let it over flow with love, everybody!

My CD experience

Cloth diapering, not chemical dependency. That may be another post, haha. I began the contemplation to cloth diaper because my good friend Natalie was doing it. She did it for the fashion, I was thinking of the budget. Any where I can find money, I am there. Noah started at about 5 months. I soon learned that Luke was not fond of the process. But again, with me being home I wanted to save that money. And seriously, this is not our former generations idea of a stinky bucket, rubber pants, and pins!

My friend ,Steph, has her own company making cloth diapers for people around the country and is quite the expert. Her diapers are awesome, but my friend Kristin made me 5 diapers to start out with. I soon realized that it was not that big of a deal. My sister in law, a young mother said, "there is no way I am scraping poop off a diaper!" After doing laundry for a large household I said, "that ain't no thing to me!" Granted the diaper sprayer makes it really easy.

After realizing that buying diapers like fuzzibunz was really spendy, and high quality diapers meant high prices, I started buying diapers on ebay. Straight from China some were! But at 5-6$ a peice it was in my budget. I bought several sets of 6 and 12. The pinks and purples I set aside (low and behold Naomi likes them much better!)

Laundering: I ruined the first 5 pretty quick, washing them in bleach and using the dryer. Elastic doesn't last long being washed every night with those components! My sister did lots of research and even taught me a thing or two, but my process has been perfected. I have an 18 qt. rubbermaid that holds a good couple days worth of diapers. The dirty ones get sprayed and put in there, and then wash time I pull the liners out, hemp liners are great, and throw them in the wash. I do a pre-rinse then wash them with Allen's soap (thanks Eva, I need to buy more!) Then I hang them dry on my dryer rack and wallah, free diapers!

We still use disposables for daddy, some outings, and overnights. I know that we are saving a ton of money though to use the cloth during the day and as much as we can. If Luke complains I remind him they are free and that is how I can afford to shop:)

So, if you are considering cloth diapers...it really isn't that bad and there are many benefits to using cloth. For your pocket book, the landfills, and baby!

rules

After bringing attention to our rules, as in my first post ever in Feburary 2010, I realized that we added two new ones. We have added "we use privacy at all times," and "we set good examples." They have been rewritten on white with various markers and our ending verse has been changed to: Blessed are those whose ways are blameless..." Psalms 119

Realizations of Medications

In our culture, of special needs, many families are faced with decisions to medicate, or not to medicate. Over the years I have some experiences and opinions to share. Feel free to comment, as nobody usually does, but I bet there will be some thoughts as you read this.

So, I am a firm believer that there are times when medication is a valuable piece to progress. Luke typically feels that many mental health and behavioral problems do not need medication for mending. Until recently, he suggested medication for a child and I know then his limits of intervention have been exhausted and he acknowledges there may be some relief.

My understanding of medication, for mental health issues have been termed to these truths:
1. Doctors in general, are very quick to prescribe medication- they over medicate and offer that biological solution for emotion problems easily.

2. Families need to make their own decisions based on as a whole, what will benefit their situation currently.

3. Medications are not necessarily a life-time necessity and often times they can be effective for managing the biological issue so that behavioral and other interventions are better received by the persons brain.

4. We would not deprive our children of diabetes insulin, first aid treatment, or eye glasses; in the event that our child has mental health needs that are increasing or unmanageable there should be no stigma attached to it that we are doing something better by allowing them (and usually us!) to suffer.

5. Medication is not best as the only solution, but a supplement to other interventions depending on the roots of the issue. Very seldom are mental health issues strictly biological, and even if so there are behavioral and emotional practices that can be crucial to recovery and or management.

6. There is no magic pill.

7. God allowed us the medical technology and wisdom to assist serious mental health issues. We are in this world and if using pharmaceuticals appropriately puts us of it, then we should quit driving cars and eating grease too. The Good Lord will guide you to safety and comfort your heart as you navigate what may be necessary for stability and success in your family or child. Pray.

8. Second opinions are valuable. There are differences in even what ages can be diagnosed with ADHD, bipolar, and other mental health labels. A child's brain is developing and as parents we need to protect them from anything that may harm them. Are their behaviors more emotionally, physically, socially, or cognitively impairing than the medication that is COMMONLY used to treat such? Be objective.

9. With good communication public schools, private therapies, county professionals (i say that one loosely) may become important team players to guiding your youngster to success, reiterating that medication alone is often reckless.

and finally...

10. Keep it real! If your kid has mental health issues it is not your fault, their fault, or any reason for shame. There are resources and tools for recovery and yes, medication should not be ruled out.

Ok, so I got 10, isn't that the rule of thumb on lists? Our personal experiences is that Adam came to us over medicated. If you are on a time released ritilin there be no reason for an additional dose, next thing you know they will be pushing sleep meds too. One doctor had him drugged up like that, immediately we cut that and our pediatrician confirmed that was a strange choice to have the additional dose. We knew our son that quick. Ok, maybe it was common sense. To this day I attest that he would not have learned to read without those ADHD meds and he outgrew the need. It was about 4 years later, but he just wasn't displaying the hyperannoying (yep my word) behaviors and we are sober. ODD, well wait and see if we have any relief there, that again, we are assuming will be only assistance as we work on regulation, skill building, and behavior modification without the biological components screwing it up every time- ie, shutdown.

I once heard a radio program with an adult ADD person and their reflections of meds, they said that the classroom was too difficult because it was two radio stations playing in their head and the medication finally shut it off so they could learn. I don't function well with two radio stations playing, I can't imagine that being internal. Reany has a lot of "neurological busyness" going on, as disclosed by her auditory processing eval at SCSU (awesome btw.) We tried one med after a discharge from therapy that the attention issues need to be addressed before her brain will be able to conquer the continuing target areas. But doc said we would know right away if effective (concerta, the same good one for Adam at that age.) It didn't do anything and we are still sober. She continues to do well and we will likely wait for her to have obstacles academically, and with her executive functioning impairments that should surface in the structured classroom setting when they are given greater independent responsibilities. Waiting games suck!

I know traumatized children that have been on up to 17 meds in one day, and I think that is WRONG! I think that is mere negligence by the county (as they were in care,) and for that foster family.

Wishing any of you dealing with mental health issues the best. Pray that God grant you wisdom to know what your family needs, what your child needs, and how you can have peace with whatever that may bring. Keep it real.

Ok, now your turn!

It's how it is...

Noah asked for another bagel this morning because his had a hole in it. hehe. That's all folks, just having breakfast with the kids, everyone is off to school. I got Reany's hair done and barely started on Libby's when the bus turned the corner. Poor kid going to school with ratty hair and hopefully different socks than the ones sitting on the table here. Reany ate her oranges and Libby ate her bagel, so Noah gets a balanced meal of leftovers. Oh wait, there's a hole in the bagel! Oh no, they all do...it's how it is:)

Speaking of Martha Stewart

I just remembered that I was once described as Martha Stewart on crack. Now that is funny!

Just A Day

Is this the "quit looking at me" grump face or what? Days like this I wonder if we should just got back to bed...yeah right, as if that would ever happen!
And my sweet girl, this is a darling picture I had to share, she has such a loving disposition, and this captivates her peaceful soul that is teaching me every day! Thanks Naomi!! I love you!!
Seriously, this is the cuteness I am countered with on a day that a nap seems impossible.
And this little grin too, knowing that her and brother are not listening and having their own little party instead. Can't win them all, but at least this peanut will crash and rest at another point, or whenever I pull the 3 year old out of there. We have yet to move Noah back downstairs after our foster family experience...days like this though it is a pressing idea. Snickers siblings!

My Martha Steward Housekeeping

This is my shabby chic bedspread I scored months ago and never shared. Of course bedding is overpriced, but with my discounts at Kohls I got this set for under $20!! It was 90% off and then my 30 or whatever else and it seems to make our bedroom. Our bedroom is supposed to be a sanctuary, and although it won't last forever, we think it looks good! I also got two european shams that I waited to get those pillows and never took the picture. Kalu is missing in this pic though, he loves my bed, because he loves me:)

after

before

after

before
Wow! Why does my closet become the catch all? My photo uploading skills
are premature, as you can tell- I know the before is to come after,
oops!
Every couple months it seems that my floor disappears and I need
to dedicate my organizing skills to my own belongings.
And the kids stuff, miscellaneous things, and what have yous.
So...what's in your closets?

btw...i know this may classify as the most boring post ever, but who else
would possibly care of my mundane works in my own home?
At least when I am old I may be able to reflect that
I tried to be organized!

bear with me!

and yes, that is my wedding dress hung up there:)
a good reminder for me that I am Luke's
princess:)
intentional procrastination at it's finest:)

Code Yellow

One day, a distant memory of a week and a half ago... my little Noah gave me an exciting day. What is code yellow you might ask. Luckily it is pretty serious for my favorite retail therapy counselors at Kohls. Probably not as scary as code blue, but lock down. Where did that cute little blonde go?

I was at check out, he had be fairly good doing some minor shopping (major shopping would occur without small people.) I had him in the corner of my eye, he was right there playing with the carts and I thought, well better than him harming anything.

Now ya see him now ya don't was what happened. And the counselor was trying to figure out how I could get the 30% off and still use my kohls cash, even against my wishes. At that point they are paying me to shop and it was ridiculous that she wanted me to save on free stuff. And then my kid takes off. So it was a slight panic. After about 3 minutes that seemed like hours, he was found sneaking around the vacuums, at this point probably enjoying the thrill as various people are calling his name and looking for a little 3 footer in a red coat.

And of course he couldn't get over the fact that I was not buying him something, and left the store under my arm. Some days naptime can't come soon enough!

But that was not all for the day, later in the afternoon I had the privilege of calling poison control as the little shtinkter SoMeHoW opened the children ibuprofen and downed half a bottle. At least he had the courtesy to bring it to me, and at least I had the memory to know what was left in there. After talking with the poison control center- which thankfully is posted on my fridge- it was no greater conflict than him taking a strong dose without cause. So my baby was fine, and I figured, but the mom in me found a little strand to worry from- that poison control dismissed. And by the way, he is the only kid I have had to call on and it wasn't his first time. He also once ingested the "do not ingest" silicone packets. Again, it's not in the food groups, but doesn't require an ER trip. That I hope he doesn't ever need!

So that was more than a week ago and I have had many posts since then that never made the cut, so when things slow down maybe I will play a little catch up. All in all we are glad to have all kids back to school this week and Luke goes back tomorrow and we are healthy and blessed!!

Spring Break

next week for the girls. Woot Woot! We are splitting up some time with the kids, since when we go anywhere we need to buy two rooms anyhow, might as well mix it up a little bit and have less commotion. That was an original advantage to them doing 2 different districts.

Aubrey and Lexi even get to skip school, but then again Aubrey just missed yesterday because she was babysitting overnight for her sick baby sister. So now I almost feel guilty! But it is just one day and it is really important to connect with a daughter of her age, even at that expense.

Counting on selecting an electric piano and then starting the kids with my neighbor for some lessons. Really want Lexi to play and have that ability to express herself, same with Libby. Reany too but her and David may have some brain things with it too, there is a magic to music and I know it can be helpful for many people.

Going to get ready for my big sale. At the armory Saturday March 26th. Anyone who wants to sell under me can. It takes the day, you are there from 7 or 730 til 3ish. I ususally make around $600.00. I know that I could far more easily donate to charity, except I am the charity myself and I use those funds to clothe my kids. It is more of a revolving budget that I have grown to appreciate. All household and adult goods are always donated, I got a truck full right now.

Luke thinks that he is going to "clean house" when I am gone during his vacation next week. I tell him that I would be an asset to him as I do want to get rid of stuff too and need his help. He seems to think I am a hoarder and I AM NOT!! So I hope to do a day together next week. I told him that the only things that I will fight to keep is the (broken and needy) bookshelf my mom had when she was a kid, and the (broken and needy) rocking chair that was from when I was a kid. It's the centiMENTAL in me?! Hopefully this spring I can care to those pieces and Luke will not mistake them for junk that needs to go.
In junk that needs to go is a dryer that squeeks, insulation Luke will probably never install, a broken bike or two- thanks to the older boys including their father and without regard, I could've sold them!!
There is a broken curio from over a decade ago and peice of my college years collection. My old college table is hard to say good bye to, but the truth is it would still look like a craft project. I was envisioning distress style painting with black and red for an accent peice in our living room, but don't think Luke will want to wait for that to happen. That is in my eventual office/family area downstairs after I get that bookshelf I was wishing for MONTHS ago:)

I hope to clear out the closets and really have a nice fresh spring and have things either in use or in not gonna or not yet status. How does anyone else do that? I think some of us should do consults for eachother and tours so we can get ideas of how the heck to manage all the belongings that come with having 4 or more kids. AND I AM NOT A HOARDER!! But every year my kids need shoes and gifts and clothes and boots and winter stuff and yada yada yada. Next thing ya know TLC is at your door!

Drama Mama

Says no! There has to be some limits, and we learned one! Two families under one roof is just tough!! Kudos to anyone that can do that...especially when parental roles differ! Atleast we tried? And since there were so many offers of y'all who must be smarter than I, well you didn't win the contest and the next host family is hopefully going to be a good match until there is better stability. We did survive though!

Busy things happening and Luke has vacation next week. Looking into a virtual acadamy, there seems to be some bus topics for my boys that seem untolerable to us and their vulnerabilities. I will not stop at any measure to ensure that my kids are getting the best preperations to be successful, happy, and healthy now and forever! So deciding where to compromise is finding to be a no-brainer. If only it were that easy!

Luke is fried out with his job and we are considering other options for our family, as there is no dress rehearsal in life and God has a good plan for us. That is what is exciting about it, I know somebody knows what the heck this life means!! And any glimpses I get or chance I have to make things better, that's where you might find me. Or else at the local dollar store. hehe