As parents, we often live and learn. We find ourselves doing and saying things we never thought we would. It’s no surprise with 10 kids that we would have various methods of parenting, schooling, and living. I wish that anyone who ever questioned why we do things differently could know all our reasoning and experiences; but frankly, it’s none of your business! Parenting kids that have had early childhood trauma, autism, language processing, and attachment issues is complex. There is no such thing as favorites, but more like individuals have opportunities based on their abilities.
One thing I would like to share, that may encourage others to make decisions that benefit your child. We have full responsibility and right to ensure that our children have opportunities to thrive and be successful. That is our job. This is the story of how Noah wound up being at Granite City Baptist Academy. You do not have to have my same beliefs to recognize the moral of this story is to do what is best for your child.
Our resident elementary school is just a couple of miles away and has offered a wonderful Spanish Immersion with ISD#742 St.Cloud, MN schools. Libby began as a 2nd year program, and now Jojo finished her first year of kindergarten. We see the blessing for bilingualism as a way to communicate and love more people, have valued the ability for our children to have a broadened horizons, and Clearview is a small community school. Luke and I had differing opinions about what happens after 5th grade. Ultimately, my favor of public school came to a halt when I got a video from Libby the old Tech High School with 8 squad cars and 3 ambulances for a potential fight. It is no secret that the city of St.Cloud and 742 has not successfully integrated mass immigration of Somali families and also an increasing population of inner city Chicago families. I am all about diversity, but when your heart sinks and questions your child’s safety, and you have options, you choose safety. I was in favor of 742 until I walked into Becker Middle School. You can see over the lockers, it was hubs for each grade, it seemed so sweet and welcoming. I knew it was a good fit for Noah.
Noah is such a charming and sweet boy. He was in the top of his class, everyone loves him, he is funny, caring, cute, and an all star athlete. Yes, I am biased! I imagined that he would transition well and it would be a great place for him to complete his schooling. He had wrestled with Becker some, and they loved him already. I wonder if putting him in football would have helped him acclimate with the “right” kids. I wonder if he had issues we would never know, as I doubt he would have the heart to tell us minor, yet painful experiences. The first week he came home and said dreamily, “yeah, I was really popular at Clearview.” At that point my heart broke for him, as I could read between the lines that the new 6th grader meant nothing if not a threat for the chums who had been together k-4. That he didn’t matter, that nobody knew how awesome he was. Granted, a primary goal of my ministry to my children is to teach them that their identity is in Christ alone, a God given desire is for acceptance, and the feeling of loneliness and being unknown is of worthlessness.
They would let him in sometimes, he proved himself with his football skills, and at some point he figured out that getting attention any way was being known. He buddied up with another new kid, and before long we were getting calls from the principal’s office. His demeanor changed and I look back and realize that he was falling apart. He was working so hard in the social emotional part of where do I fit in? His academics fell behind, we began questioning if he had been adequately prepared for junior high. We began questioning our parenting and feeling that we were failing him. His offenses at school were fairly innocent, clearly attention seeking and age appropriate, but he had never had behavior issues!
He got detention for blowing his instrument when the class had been instructed not to, he was involved with a group locker room bullying incident, his “friend”and him decided to dress for gym when there was a sub to play floor hockey with their other friends instead of going to band class, he powered off his ipad after getting froze for looking up deer, and he googled memes. It was more his attitude that was alarming. He was always crabby, mean, rude. He said he didn’t care about his grades and decided the teachers were against him. He missed rewards and was bombing. He began drawing slang graffiti. We saw no hope for him to recover from the visible trajectory.
Pastor Campbell had been inviting us to learn more about their academy at Granite City Baptist for years. Noah and his youngest grandson, Tanner, have been wrestling mates and best buddies since they were 5! We had going to an orientation and had chosen Becker over their small setting. I did not want to drive to St.Cloud every day from Clearwater; I wanted Noah to experience a varied school setting to increase his life skills to work with a variety of people; I didn’t want him in a class of 4 kids. How odd would that be?! And then my heart said, yes! I do want my son in an environment free of distractions. Yes, I do want him in a community that renounces Satan and all worldly claims. Yes, I will bring him to St.Cloud every day!
Literally within the first week, our son was transforming back into the kid we knew again! He was valued, loved, and encouraged to do his best all day at school. Free of distractions and also the digital obsessions of current state ran schools. They have character building and Bible based songs, curriculum, and activities. His academics flourished and he was finally learning, working, and being educated at school again! GCBA offers many extra curricula and sports as well, they are well rounded and it has been amazing there. Even his musicianship improved with trumpet! Their tution is a fraction of most private schools also;) It was so refreshing, encouraging, and clear to see that he is back on track and in a great place, with great people, to do great things!
I just want to encourage you to not sit and watch your kid bomb school. If your child is struggling and it seems like there are not any options, look for small settings that can allow them to make progress. While public school is free, the price for our son was not worth it. God allowed for us to find GCBA, and for that we are thankful! Naomi even joined and is returning this fall for 5th grade, as distance learning was not a good fit. We are parenting individuals, make it best for each of them! As we approach another school year of unknowns due to covid and unpredictable agendas to create freedoms beyond truth, choose what’s best for your kid. I am always available to help others if you feel overwhelmed about your child’s education. We have done private, public, and homeschool. Rest knowing that we can trust in God! Love to anyone who read this in entirety!
One of my life verses is:
Be prepared for action, set your hope fully on the grace to be given to you the day Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had while you lived in ignorance; but, rather just as he who called you to be holy, so be holy in all you do. For it is written, be holy because I am holy. 1Peter 1:13-16.
Then the question is, what does it mean to be holy? I don’t want to gain the whole world and lose my soul, compromise my child’s identify, or be a sell out! Please be respectful of our choice, as we have lived a life that continually draws us to the Lord. Our authority is the Bible. Amen!!!
